A few weeks ago, my husband and I celebrated one year of marriage. It has been a good year, and to me it felt like it flew by. Despite all of the good moments, we hope that the years will only keep getting better! Here are some things we learned and some things we enjoyed in one year.
- We learned that we have to communicate. Anyone can tell you how important it is to communicate in a relationship, but it is not easy. Generally when we resolve a conflict, we realize that the problem was that we had not effectively communicated when we raised the issue.
- We don’t always have to like the same things. At the beginning of the year, we could never agree on what to do on a Sunday afternoon. Maybe he wanted to watch a movie, but I wanted to read. Finally we realized that we can hang out together even if we are doing different things. It seems so obvious now that I write it down, but it is just an example of the fact that we can enjoy our differences instead of trying to cover them up.
- Along with the last point, something I’ve enjoyed is that we come to like more and more of the same things. It’s a good day when one of us thinks to bring home some bananas, and a free Saturday morning now almost always means a walk to the beach.
- We have to be aware that we don’t always understand things in the same way. Of course, we’re coming from two different cultures, and don’t always have the same idea of how things should be. But sometimes it’s just a different way of seeing the world, unrelated to culture. For example, when I asked my husband if he was nervous about our upcoming move, he said that he thought we’d struggle to make ends meet at first, but after a few months we would be fine. He was only nervous about our physical and financial situation, whereas I had meant to ask if he was nervous about making new friends, adjusting to a new country, or dealing with culture shock. Generally my reactions are more emotional and his are more logical, which is something we have to take into account when we discuss big decisions.
- One of the best parts of being married is just hanging out at home. My favorite things to do are to eat dinner sitting on our carpet, dance around the house, or brush our teeth together.
- We (mostly) learned to forgive. I have a habit of forgiving my husband for something and then getting mad at him again later when I’m worried about something completely different. Sometimes you just have to let it go.